10:26 - Sunday, Nov. 24, 2002
In DEFENSE of marriage
More posts are on the way. I have been on hiatus. Here is something I posted on a message board at Ultimatewedding.com in the middle of the night when I woke up with a back ache. The context is that this is a site where mostly het weddings are discussed. The topic of same-sex marriage was raised by a rare lesbain posting and a poll on the issue. Most are supportive, but there was the usual spattering of "it's just not right" and the fear that there will never be another child born if everyone is gay:

My partner and I will be married in January and have received a wealth of support despite some problem folks. We have even had support from my sister who has traditionally held the views of those like a handful here who would limit others' happiness and expressions of love in the name of her understanding of God.

We are both gay men, long-time women's rights, anti-racism, and social justice activists living in Washington, DC where we will have some protections. Others considering this may want to visit Lambda Legal Defense for more information at Lambda Legal Defense.

Limiting my rights for fear of there never being any more children is the same type of logic that has been used to create oppression, discrimination, and to empower a culture of privilege and dominance over many groups.

The same goes for standing in judgment about a lifestyle being "right." I do not think it is right to hold one type of love over another, to imbue only heterosexdual love with rights and privileges based on one set of understandings about whether a religious text or some notion of biological determinism decides who we should sleep with.

Regardless, I would always support the love and loving union of folks who found the person they need care and support from, regardless of their views, sex, chromosomes, gender, etc. My sister's wedding day is still one of the happiest days of my life. And honestly, I think she is pretty backwards in many ways. But I definitely do not need her to become me to appreciate and validate the love she had for (gasp!) a man. And I could never think of not supporting legislation that protected her from discrimination. Because I love her. And I think more love is better than less-- despite the fact that I sometimes fear our differences.

Put most simply, it is inane to think that my love for someone who happens to have the same genitals and sex chromosomes I do in any way diminishes the bonds of a heterosexual marriage. If anything, promotion of long-term, committed same-sex relationships can have a very positive affect on both a general as well as my own feelings of security, ability to face financial challenges, spirituality, and sense of comfort and love in a world with so much anger, fear, hatred, violence, and intolerance.

More details on our exciting ceremony, etc. will follow. We are incorporating a quilt, a swing band, wedding planners, food reflecting both our cultures, a religious ceremony, great readings, etc. but I just had to start and say hello.

*****To follow this thread, visit here.

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