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12:23 am - October 29, 2003 I always go back and forth in this journal between just cataloging the events of my life and giving tight little quippy funnies. I like that it's not all one thing—not governed by big pronouncements of structure and that kind of crap. I do enough of that for work. So the gang and I have returned from Dollywood – what my man calls Cornpone Vegas. I can't tell you what an astoundingly fun and crazy experience it was. Going into the trip, I was experiencing a flu-like illness with some weird tidal waves of fatigue. I rested some in the car, but for the most part was awake. I did manage to spend a bit more time resting than the others while we were there. I had to save my energy for Dollywood! My former boyfriend and I had talked about going there a long time ago. Since he ran off to join the Hassidic Jews (you laugh but I am totally serious), I decided I could claim it as totally my own. Of course, if they have Hassidic Jew Day at Dollywood, he is welcome to reclaim his part of wanting to visit the happiest place on earth. So I've wanted to go for years. I never ever cared if it was fun. It was the journey. It was going and having went. Fortunately, for me it was a good time. A few observations: Being part of a feminist lefty interracial gay couple is not nearly as much of a problem as I thought it would be in East Tennessee. We really just weren't on people's radars. I am obsessive compulsive about being somewhat street smart in areas where people fly the nasty flag and are known to carry guns. Our group definitely got attention, but not too much. I thought Christy the funky cashier girl at the grocery store was going to have to come with us and leave her checkout stand behind. She seemed to have ended up there after she and her friends car took a wrong turn on the way back from a Cure concert and she had been working at the grocery store to save up enough money to leave. My man said he felt more foreign there than while traveling around the world. He was routinely the only person of color (and I mean ANY color but white) within sight. Dolly Parton loves gay people. She is full of camp and rainbows and sass. I felt like she was inviting the straight people to visit but that there were engraved invitations and free wigs and candy for the gay folk. Among Dolly's awards, memntoes, and keys to the city, etc, was the best award ever: The Honorary Muppet Award. I think I want one of these. Everything at Dollywood is fried. Funnel cakes, Pies, catfish, tomatoes, pork rinds, ride operators (just kidding)and on and on and on. Of course, when we visited the nearby attraction Ober Gatlinburg, we found the ultimate fried treat—The Fried Twinkie. By this point there was so much grease coursing through our veins that we decided to pass. But I was just damn happy to see that there was such a thing. Dollywood is also full of crafts people. Ms. Stitch and I spent some time with a woman that makes Lampwork beads, a woman who had some amazing woven shawls and rugs, and the nicest paper marbling man in the world. These twists and swirls of funky vanilla whites and reds and blacks were almost tasty. We stayed in this asskick of a chalet and because we had enough people, it ended up being pretty affordable. This was really only the second adult road trip we had taken with a group of friends and it was just so damn nice to have a house together. We talked about sexuality and gender and politics as my group of friends is prone to doing and we watched some of Thoroughly Modern Millie and Xanadu. Games were played, beer was consumed, and much chill was had. Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge are nice enough places if you like the following: "Craft stores" filled with plaster machinations representing a caricature of farm and country life. One-stop-shops whose signs say: "LEATHER CHEESE SUNGLASSES KNIVES FUDGE" Friggin' miniature golf everywhere. I mean I could hit a ball through the head of a moose, a fried pie, a chicken, a big shoe, the mouth of an old lady, and a ceramic grizzly bear. Endless billboards of Louis Mandrell. I do hear that at the end of one of her shows she levitated in a Nascar that vanished in a cloud of glitter and balloons. Try that Wesley Clark. Endless billboards of the Integrity Quartet. OK- there are only two words in their name. Integrity is the first word. I think we all know what that means. Quartet is the second word. I thought we all knew what that meant as well. But there are how many of them? 5. 5 fucking people in the Integrity Quartet. Sure, one is playing the piano, but all over their billboards you see 5 white-washed white guys. When you fuck up the second word by being blatantly wrong, you also screw up the first word as well. So basically, the name is a double fraud. Now that is Cornpone Jesus. It may sound like I think this is all tiring or bad or that I am judging it. It's not that. This was actually a hell of a lot of fun. People in the area were pretty darn nice and the folks at Dollywood were especially helpful. I could get sweet tea everywhere and I think we all managed to have it at every meal. Waiters would say, "Should I put that all on separate checks for you?" I was like, "Are you kidding? I mean, um, sure thanks!" That's the kind of nice the people are there. Especially folks like Flossie, the woman who was the gatekeeper and keymaster at the little Dolly movie in her museum. Flossie asked if people had any questions before the went in to the movie and no one did. So she just started talking about the Internet. "I can look on my computer and see right behind that door over there. I never thought that would happen." My mind is not what it used to be, but here are the questions I wanted to ask Flossie: "Are the people wearing shirts that say 'Jesus Freak' in big felt iron-on letters serious or are they just hoping to blend in with all the others?" "If I do buy the black hat with "Dolly" written in silver sequins that is so clearly meant to hold the hair of a pony-tailed soccer mom from Dallas, will I go to hell?" "How come you can use the computer to see what your head looks like with each of Dolly's wigs, but you can't buy a printout? Have you heard of drag queens? I think this would make a great Christmas gift. Is there a petition I can sign?" "Are you ever like, 'fucking A man, I work just as hard as she does and I don’t see people driving hundreds of miles to go to Flossieville. It could be wonderful. Lots of fun and baked goods. I could tell stories. Lulu from Hee-Haw would strum the washboard each day at three and Sam from Different Strokes could play the jug. I thought Rhinestone was a piece of crap movie anyway.'?" But seriously, it looks like Dollywood has given a lot of people jobs. I am not so certain about the development issues in the area, but it does seem like souveneirs and restaurants are the way the economy rolls there. If it is good for the people there, then more power to Dolly!
In other news I've thrown my hat into the ring to become the top dog and Exec. Director of the organization I work for. Why would I do such a crazy thing? Well, my boss left and there is this opening at the top. I think I have the right skills at this point and have received encouragement from the staff, from one of the artists who shows work where we are, and think that some of the committee that makes the decision might be on my side. It comes down to money and opportunity. Ideally this job would open up six months from now when I have our fundraising and development on course. But that was not in the cards. I am hoping they want an Exec. Director who has a substantial fundraising background running the show. So according to what I have heard there are more than 120 candidates for the job. I am confident that I will be in the top handful, but I know there are people out there with a chunk more experience than me (right now about 6 years in fundraising, membership, national grassroots event management, and direct mail). But I have been there a year and I think that may very well count for something. If they do hire me, I want to: 1. Work with staff members to understand and work towards their personal career goals (if they have them). 2. Articulate a set of organizational goals that we develop and pusue together. 3. Help formulate a strategic plan from these goals to move us towards greater efficiency and healthy, sustainable growth. 4. Help guide the board towards greater diversity in all its shades of meaning. 5. Survey members, students, and parents about the current program offerings. 6. Secure the website for Internet donations and ticket sales. 7. Develop a deadline-driven marketing strategy for programs and courses. 8. Set clear methods of showing staff appreciation and recognition (both monetary and non-monetary). 9. Move our budget process to a system of deeper detail and specificity so it is useful for the program and fundraising people to look at to determine success and to plan future budgets. That's a start.
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