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3:46 pm - December 06, 2003 It's weird to think maybe you are strong and competent for the first time in years and to have that reflected back a bit. If I don't get this job, I have to share the office with the person who does get the job. I am not sure how that is going to feel. In general, I have a very adaptable and diplomatic personality. I also feel that some things just are the way they are and that for one reason or another (timing, fate, intention, fear, circumstance, personality), situations are somewhat unchanging. I have a choice to make: stay or go, be pleasant or be a shit, feel my frustration and use it well or feel my frustration and make others deal with it. It all sounds pretty simple. And it usually is. Sometimes though, stress creeps up my back. Death grips a muscle and pinches the shit out of me. Slams me down on the floor like a piss drunk rock groupie finally giving in. Pushes me against heating pads, plunges me into hot skin-cracking baths all in the name of dancing back and forth between stress and relief, fear and safety. The last interview went very well. RootBeer and Verucaamish both gave me a lot of support and I felt buoyed by the experiences that brought me to that point. It all seems to be going very well. I am loathe to talk about it too much though. I do think that if I was in that position I would have the chance to do a whole lot -- inclusing community outreach, raising the profile of the organization, etc. The interview is Monday after jury duty. We'll see how it goes.
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